As I said good bye to 2012 I reflected on my growth and loss. Sixteen years ago two four legged friends came into my family They brought unconditional love and affection and healing. It was a time of stress and difficult communication. Their presence brought a focal point. We no longer had to struggle for connection because they became the point. The point of dialogue, affection, joy and immense entertainment. I learned so much from these dogs.

Kona taught me that females can be strong, assertive, gentle and kind. When it was her time she let go surrounded with family. No struggle. Easy. She embraced her aging process. Her slowing down. It was sad yet peaceful at the same time.

Puff taught me that males can be tough and protective while being affectionate, thoughtful and incredibly loving.When it was his time he chose to go on a walk about. To smell the earth one last time before he transitioned. His choice led me to a despair I have never felt before. Not knowing. Not being able to find him or ever know what happened. No closure. Wondering what could have been done differently.

This was a journey I had refused to take before. I had to face all the stored up grief within. To accept that sometimes there is nothing I can do to change the course no matter how hard I try. Whether it was my mother, father, brother, friend or beloved pet I had no control over their dying. It was their life. They had their own lessons and experiences including their ending. I had to accept that it is not within my control; no matter how powerful I believe I am. What a precious gift he gave me. The peace came when I accepted that he CHOSE to go off alone. He claimed his animal heritage; his wolf instincts.

Sixteen years ago we rescued them. At least on paper. Actually they rescued us. I can’t imagine where my family would be today if they had not come into our lives. I believe they saved us. Go well my sweet friends and thank you for so many wonderful years. Ardis