Because I Knew You I Have Been Changed For Good….

carol via carolynFamily. You are born into them. You don’t choose who will be in that group. You take what you get. I had the good fortune to have a sister that I actually liked and loved. We had our moments, as all sisters do, yet we always came back into each others lives; sharing our joys and challenges over the decades we were gifted with.

Carol died in June. It was sudden and totally unexpected. She was a realtor. She woke up that morning and did what she loved best; showed a house to a family that was looking for a home. She sat down and a few moments later she was gone. It was a blessed and peaceful way to die. No pain. No fear. No suffering. No lingering. She just left her body. And she left me. I went into action; planning her funeral, delivering her eulogy, burying her and supporting her boys. I met with lawyers and tended to the many tasks that had to be done for her estate. I kept moving forward and the tears did not come.

Last night I went to see a Broadway touring company production of “Wicked”.  It was incredible. The final song, where the two female lead characters are saying good bye, was so touching. It opened the flood gates and I was finally able to feel my grief and sadness for the loss of Carol. My regret is that I was unable to have a goodbye with her and tell her what being her sister and friend meant to me. I believe she knew but I still wish I had the chance…These lyrics summarize what I might have said:

“It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime. So let me say before we part: so much of me is made of what I learned from you. You’ll be with me like a hand print on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine, being my friend…Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better but I do believe that I have been changed for the better…Because I knew you I have been changed for  good.”

“The reality is that I will grieve forever. I will not get over the loss of her; I will learn to live with it. I will heal and I will rebuild myself around this loss. I will be whole again but I will never be the same. Nor should I be the same nor would I want to.”

She lives in my history and forever in my heart. I am changed for good because Carol is my sister. Through tears and sweet memories….

Ardis

P.S. If you have someone in your life let them know how they have touched your life.  I would give anything for a chance to say this to Carol.

 

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Your Inner Lizard May Be Holding You Back….

MC900449064[1]Years ago I had a light bulb moment courtesy of a young client. He helped me realize the power of a good story to create powerful change when shared. I had the privilege of working with a young man. He was eight and very advanced. He had recovered from cancer and mom wanted to make sure he stayed healthy. In one of our sessions we talked about the reptilian brain. I shared a story about Albert Einstein. He was quite a celebrity in his day and reporters followed him everywhere. One day a brave reporter asked Dr. Einstein why he always wore the same old cardigan sweater. Certainly he could afford a better wardrobe with his level of success. Einstein focused on this reporter and told him that he was feeding his reptilian brain. Only when that part of his brain was fed with the familiar was he able to soar and discover new ideas!

A week later mom phoned me to ask what had transpired in the previous session with her son. I couldn’t remember most of it until she shared something with me. She was doing his laundry and found a small piece of his baby blanket pinned to the inside of his shirt pocket. When she asked about it he told her that he often felt worried about learning new things in school. To calm himself down he kept  a piece of his baby blanket with him; like Albert Einstein’s sweater;  to satisfy his reptilian brain.

Out of the mouths of babes! Don’t be afraid of learning something new. That is why we are here; to grow and become more.

Ardis

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THE 6 KEYS TO HAPPINESS…

new_pa3Everyone wants to be happy so why is it so elusive and fleeting? What are the obstacles that keep us from whatever our definition of happiness is?

The answer: our limiting beliefs about ourselves. We’re always “working” towards happiness and experience it when we succeed at a challenge, overcome an illness or fall in love. We are aware, on some level, of how we operate. What we focus our conscious energy on changing and improving can lead to improvements. Being more conscious of ourselves and our energy is the beginning. But it doesn’t always last does it?

If you are disappointed in your results; unhappy more than happy, then a method for tapping into your energetic essence might be helpful. Do you know who you are and what you are capable of? Do you respond to people and situations always waiting for a clue to your life’s true direction rather than driving your own destiny?
Do you wander through life with a sense that you are missing it?

Keys to unlock your happiness potential:

1. Identify the limiting beliefs that keep you small and fearful. Write down all your negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings that emerge whenever you think of making changes in your life. Purge yourself. Notice how much energy is held in these negative reactions and where they are being held in your body.

2. Engage your reptilian brain. This is your ancient brain that allows survival. It is also the part of you that freezes in response to change. Feed this ancient brain and you are free to fly! Do what is familiar and nurturing as you are anticipating changes in your life. Too many changes, even positive ones, will
engage your fight/flight response. With the cooperation of your Reptilian Brain you can “ease into” transformation

3. Get clear about what you want. When you stay “out of focus” regarding your full potential your progress is hit or miss. When you focus clearly on creating a new potential you begin to harness your energy towards defining yourselves in a new way. Write down your goals in the present tense as if you are already living them.

4. Identify the positive feeling this new goal will give you. Our brains will accept a new idea if there is a positive feeling that accompanies it. For change to take hold there must be a powerful emotional attachment to the new idea.

5. Change the energy. The first 4 steps are necessary for change to happen. But we can’t attract more happiness with the same thinking that created the problems to begin with. We must change our minds which means changing our energy. Changing the energy is easy. Dance, sing, walk, bounce, laugh, breathe deeply. Anything you choose that gets your system moving will accomplish this.

6. To complete the experience you must reward yourself. Anything that makes you feel happy and proud of your accomplishment. The brain thrives on rewards. Remember how much you loved getting those stickers when you were little and managed to clean your room? You can give yourself this energetic boost by choosing something that says “well done!” to your brain.

This exercise will support you in being happier. Once you begin identifying what you DO want and stop feeding energetically, what you DON’T want, life becomes better. You begin to feel happiness more consistently as you live your life more consciously.

If you find that you are still sliding back to the familiar limiting patterns it may be time to work on releasing the underlying unconscious patterns you created in childhood. These patterns are often hidden from our awareness. So how can you
change what you don’t know? The best method I have found is Resonance Repatterning. This is a profound process that allows you to safely identify what you are resonating with, or attracting, which is creating disappointments and unhappiness in your life. Contact me for a session; ozardis.com.

Ardis

 

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Are you a misplaced eagle?

insideballoon.jpgA naturalist was exploring a forest and saw a farm in the distance. He hiked over to the property and introduced himself to the farmer. Being a friendly guy he was happy to show his new friend around. The naturalist was surprised to see a beautiful eagle in the chicken coop. The farmer explained that he had rescued the wounded eagle when he was a baby and put him in with the chickens so he could recover. The eagle never left. He was grown and healthy yet seemed content to live with his chicken family.

The naturalist was eager to “rescue” this magnificent creature and set him free. He convinced the farmer and together they got the eagle out of the chicken coop and into the farmers truck. The naturalist sat in the truck bed with the eagle who was quite docile. They drove to the top of a nearby mountain. The naturalist held the eagle and walked to the edge. He quietly explained to him that he was created to fly- not be on the ground. He had grown up with the chickens and been confined to a coop for his safety but he was now healed and it was time to fly. The eagle looked at the man and then gazed over the edge of the cliff toward the chicken coop. He climbed down the man’s body and walked back to the truck.

Undaunted the naturalist picked him up again. This time he decided they needed more height so he raised him up and urged him to fly…The eagle looked out over the valley where he knew the chicken coop was and then at the naturalist. He paused but then he climbed back down again and walked over to the truck. The farmer witnessed this with a smile.

The naturalist was convinced the eagle was ready to take off so he tried again. He encouraged the bird, he spoke softly yet firmly to him. He told him that God had created him to be His most magnificent flying creature. Finally he told him to look toward the sun and he would remember his purpose. He raised him up again.

The eagle was very still. He looked at the valley below.  He looked at the kind man holding him. They both waited. Then a quiver went through the eagles body and he slowly spread his wings and  soared towards the sky.

After that he returned to the farm occasionally to visit with the chickens but never lived with them again.

Are you a misplaced eagle? Do you feel that you are in the wrong place? Living the wrong life? Wanting to soar yet reluctant to let go of the security and familiarity of your chicken coop? If so you are not alone. Many of us feel this way.

To soar we have to be willing to change. Change is scary; even positive change. Here is a suggestion: DO SOMETHING. Decide on one small change you will make right now towards becoming who you were meant to be. See it clearly and in great detail. Imagine how it feels to be an eagle and the new perspective you will get from this vantage point. Breathe. Slowly and deeply and take that step. Reward yourself…perhaps a hot air balloon ride?

Ardis

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Study finds trauma effects may linger in body chemistry of next generation

My thanks to a subscriber for sharing this article at PBS.  This supports the Bert Hellinger Family Constellation work idea that patterns can be inherited or carried for several generations.   In our Resonance Repatterning work the “Heal the Family System” set of repatternings addresses this type of pattern.

From the PBS interview with karen Sonneberg…

 

New research on survivors of the Holocaust shows how catastrophic events can alter our body chemistry, and how these changes can transmit to the next generation. The result? Our children may suffer the effects of a traumatic event they never witnessed. NewsHour’s Stephen Fee has the story.

Source: Study finds trauma effects may linger in body chemistry of next generation

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