Journeys With Oz

What is in my way:  “I have so much I want to do and create but I keep pushing it off “.  What I want instead is “to flow and produce with creativity, passion and joy.”  Through the ingenious RR process I came upon a surprising revelation:  I seem to believe there is going to be a major interruption in my life… something that is going to derail me.  So my system is keeping me from even getting on (the) track.  Before this repatterning, I would never have articulated my situation in this way.  But I now see a pattern, beginning with my grandmother (whom I never knew) who died in her early 30s, “interrupting” her life plan.  Her death “interrupted” my mother’s childhood.   While my mother was in college in 1929, the stock market crash and ensuing Depression “interrupted” the money available for school and altered her life from thereon out.  After my mother married, her husband of 10 years took his own life, “interrupting” her life plan once again and leaving her with 2 young boys to raise.   Her 2nd marriage, a delightful and very happy event, “interrupted” her flourishing career as she left her work and took on motherhood to two stepchildren.  At the age of 45 she was “interrupted” by my birth.

While I had always envisioned my conception as a “delightful oops,” my appearance in her world must have been a major “interruption” to the plans, thoughts and visions my mother would have had at that point in her life.   These interruptions in my grandmother’s and mother’s lives left an energetic imprint within them… an imprint that I inherited.  Why start something big if there is going to be something that’s going to interrupt it anyway and I am going to have to refocus?  When life dictates the change (my children’s birth, a death in the family, a health crisis), I respond famously.  When wanting to put seemingly “non essential” dreams into action (create a blog, write a book, expand my business), I have conveniently buried them by creating or taking responsibility for a barrage of “essential” projects or coming across fires that need putting out.

And now for the eye-opener… the unconscious belief within me:   Men interrupt women’s life path.  Life needs to be put on hold.  I need to wait until I am alone to proceed.  Yikes!!!  I do not want to be operating under such a belief system!!!  I have chosen an amazing life partner in my husband and have been blessed with phenomenal children in whose lives I want to be involved.  Any hold up I am experiencing is mine and mine alone.  This means I and I alone can change this dis-empowering belief pattern.  Now that this belief is out in the open it loses a tremendous amount of its hold.  Through the Resonance Repatterning Spiral Up process I have “interrupted” (love the play here) the vibration of those life-depleting beliefs, freeing up energy previously tied up within me and allowing for a new vibration to support a new belief:  I lead the way for others.  I love this new belief and “charge”… the heaviness and dread are replaced with a renewed sense of purpose and enthusiasm.